life in general….
i had a tipsy conversation with a sober friend last night in the middle of mcdonalds at lkf in hong kong.
it was honestly a very deep and sentimental conversation that i have with myself when i’m alone, depressed, and lost. this time, i was not alone—others have the same ideas as me.
she asked me why do we have to care about our grades so much? why do we have to graduate college? why do we keep torturing ourselves by studying? it makes us depressed, not happy. we probably won’t succeed anyways even with a college degree. why can’t we live life to the fullest now? why can’t we do what we love to do?
i couldn’t answer her….for a while. in my tispy stupor, i had to think of a way to assuage her though—because, i know at the end of “the day,” everything will turn out somewhat okay.
so, to answer her questions, i said something along the lines of: it’s for “our future…” we have to start somewhere. nowadays, we need certain requirements, general skills in order to improve ourselves and our lives. i think what i said was either the truth, or utter bullshit. i WAS tipsy, and she thought i was sober, which i suppose is a good thing haha.
i’m studying abroad now; i have never been the happiest in my life, honestly. in my whole college life at least. no stress—um except failing exams. [i’m not that depressed about my grades…but i’ll somehow sort my way through that, fuck. -___-]
i’m still lost. i know what i want to do when i graduate, i think i know at least. but, i don’t know what i’m doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like she said, WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
I pulled an all-nighter. Thank you, jet-lag (more like Fuck you, but that’s okay). I headed to McDonald’s at 8 in the morning, because I was craving something HOT to eat, instead of just Cookie Crisps, Frosted Mini Wheats, and Cheez-its. Yeah, so healthy. But anyways, I drove my NISSAN ALTIMA BABYYYYY (but, I really do miss my 2001 Camry). And…headed over to one of the busier joints in the town of Cary-for-dizzle.
I joined the morning crowd—chatted it up with several retirees (all men). It was interesting listening to their conversation. They chatted about politics, the world, their grandkids, everything pretty much. And… I was invited to church—again. Like, do I really seem that religious? I…won’t go into detail about religious experiences.
Sitting at Mickey D’s for the rest of my morning without the retirees, I realized how much I missed the slow-paced life of North Carolinians or, probably I feel like I should say, ‘real’ Americans. I do enjoy the hustle and bustle of big cities, but suddenly Cary reminded me a little bit of Sukhothai. Everything’s calm, smooth, so much leisure time—stare out the window, observing pedestrians, daydreaming about nothing.
I was freaking out today: 1. My CRV won’t start (but, got that fixed in a quick jiffy). 2. My laptop freaked out on me (maybe too much HULU, or…). 3. NO INTERNET (resort back to semi-hell of Sukhothai…but, I realized I’ll get used to it again)
Happiness as of this moment: 1. Figuring out what to eat for dinner (Chinese food, Bojangles, Cook-out, “White-People-Food” (this title entails a LONG explanation for non-Asian people, or people who just don’t understand what the fuck I’m talking about), OR Cup Noodles. 2. I HAVE INTERNET, AKA HULU, and other… illegal websites COUGH, I mean, what? 3. Mom, and James, heading to NC tomorrow.
taiwan: red light district.
this is day 100 (?) (who knows what day) in taiwan—the deborah experience. so, what exactly did i do today?
1. shopping, as usual.
2. ended up in my typical spot in taipei —> McDonalds in front of mitsukoshi :) and here. i said to a lady: “excuse me, 這裡有人坐嗎?” and then we ended up having an hour long conversation about:
- taiwan’s education system
- taiwan’s political system
-my/her life story.
overall, it was a nice conversation, though we did have some language barriers here and there. we exchanged emails, and i might visit her in 台中. which will be sweet :)
3. i went to the “red light district” of the taipei region today. with, YEP YOU GOT IT, dad :). so the ‘red light district’ is often deemed as where prostitutes/high class ‘escorts’ usually, strive, and do their business in.
-what we did today, on the streets of “林森北路,” we were attempting to find this korean bbq my dad ate at once. but, ‘unfortunately,’ we ended up at this 47 year old, high class taiwanese cuisine restaurant. [you can pretty much order dishes on the streets for like 1/5 the price. no…seriously] so, this place is called “青葉” and it is quite famous for…the high class escorts.
-a side story: i looked pretty nice today. yes, im not modest, but this has to deal with the whole concept of “high class escort ” C: short skirt, tight shirt, mascara, eyeliner, hair down, all the damn works.
-anyways, so my dad and i entered this restaurant, and it was pretty much a japanese restaurant—no joke. all the customers were pretty much japanese businessmen, with their counterpart taiwanese partners, and there were a couple of koreans. i ASSUME some of the customers thought i was my dad’s high class escort. yeahhhhh….that was awkward as a mofo.
-the story goes on… but, while i was walking the several sketchy alley ways, my dad and i could tell who was not exactly “normal,” and were more prone to “sexual activies”—let’s put it that way :) and while we were strolling along these sketchy alley ways, there were several “japanese bars” behind closed doors. a mini-building, one after the other. and you really can’t see what’s going on behind those doors. and on these particular doors, there are several signs. signs read: you have to be 18 yrs old and older to enter. and then, something about 30 yr olds and i was like… woah, ew, disgusting, sketch, wtf.
-nope, we didn’t end up going because my dad was like “i’ve been there, done that. deborah, you’ll get hit on. let’s just go to an american type bar, where things are… let’s just say, more open”
4. rode the train back home… safely. by myself :)
5. drank alcohol, as usual.
pictures coming soooooooon!!!! too bad i didn’t take a picture of myself today, i looked pretty fly, not gonna lie.