Annie

Today has been the happiest day that I’ve had since being back in Singapore. I visited Annie, my “nanny,” more like Auntie, from 10 years ago. She’s still my auntie. I really regret not calling/contacting her sooner because I miss the times when I used to go to her house and bake, and have fun with her kids, and crack jokes at everything we see. Fuck. I’m such a lazy-ass. I should’ve called sooner. BAHHHHHHHHHHHH. But, it’s okay. I’ll be studying abroad for a year in Hong Kong, and hopefully I can make surprise visits just to see her and her family on the weekends. Going to Singapore just for them, and of course Auntie Li Zhen and her family.

So, actually yesterday, 14/8/2011, I was supposed to meet Annie at an MRT station. I called her the day before and was like “Woodleigh Station right? [which was only like 3 stops away from where I lived]” She was like “YES.” Turns out, yesterday, when I got off Woodleigh, I was like…fuck. I know this isn’t right. She doesn’t live in such a deserted place. I called her and texted her and realized the MRT where she resided in was actually “Boon Lay.” oh my god. So, obviously, I was an hour late to my expected destination.

When we finally saw each other, we were just so surprised. I guess we just knew who each other was instantly. Gave a huge bear hug to one another. And, Annie said the inevitable [everyone who has seen me and my mom] “wow, you look just like your mom.” I still don’t know whether to take that as a compliment. I wonder if my mom takes that as an insult -_____-. But, Annie did say something else that makes it more of as a compliment TEEHEEE [a secret just between us two ;)].

We later met up with Uncle [oh my god, I still don’t know his name. It’s pretty bad. But, it’s complicated, and understandable. 1. They’re Muslim: men aren’t as close to the women as the women are with women. 2. Annie came to my house every other day, and her alone [I feel bad for calling her on a first name basis, but then that’s what I was used to. She was like my big, Auntie, Friend, Annie… like I said, it’s complicated] 3. I only met him once or twice during Hariraya]. Balhblablhabha, etc. And, then we ate at Swensen’s [the amazing ice cream place. But they also have main courses now :O].

Not going to lie. I was a bit [okay, REALLY] disappointed we didn’t go back to her place to eat. Annie’s the best cook/baker/chef in the world. But, it’s understandable. She just got off work, so did Uncle. And, they’ve been fasting all day, so probably no energy anyways. We caught up on the past 10 years. It’s crazy how time flies by. I’m 20, as compared to 8-10 years old. I’m in college, when I was just in middle school. It’s CRAZYYYYYYYYYY.

Then, today. I got ‘invited’ or I invited myself to their house. Hahahaha. I don’t really know which one it was. Annie asked if I wanted to bake, and I was like HELL YES. I’m not going to let this opportunity past!!! I got off at the RIGHT MRT station this time at Boon Lay. I saw Annie flailing her arms, not like she will never catch my eye. I told her I wanted to try baking the “18 layer cake.” oh god, I don’t know if that was a bad mistake on my part haha. So, we actually started are morning together to buy something from the grocery store. This “Sponge Gel” thing. Honestly, what did it look like? Something that could give 100 people a heart attack within a little play-do look-a-like container. -____- haha. And, it was bright orange, and yellow, and just looked really unhealthy.

Anyways, we ended up taking the bus together back to her place. Re-met Farez [the son], saw Uncle again, and met Natasha and her fiance. Uncle was painting the house light pink, that reminds you of a strawberry cupcake tehe. Their house looks the same exactly as I remembered. But, the paint on the walls were probably of a different color back in the day. They’re lived there for 12 years. So, when my family visited them I suppose it was a relatively new home.

We bake butterballs + 18 layer cakes. If you guys want the recipe, hit me up :) so amazing.

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Each layer of the “18 layer cake” takes 20 minutes to bake. 18x20=360 6 hours? Yeah… I stayed at their house for a longgggg time. Hahaha. I ended up eating, lunch, linner, dinner, after dinner, everything there.

I know they’re fasting, BUT, 1. Natasha was sick, so she needs energy. 2. Annie’s aunt flow came along [and so has mine]. 3. Farez just was hungry haha. 4. The fiance was also hungry.

I had so much fun. There was a lot of talking, about studies, going to college, getting a job in the real world, getting married, etc.  We also did some self karaoke and guitar playing for a while. That was pretty fun. There was the playing Uno on everyone’s Ipad. Tehe, Natasha and her fiance thought me and Farez were cheating [we were in the same room, but we were trying to cheat off each other ourselves not tag team each other haha]

I saw Farez’s girlfriend via skype. She’s pretty. I don’t know why I had to mention that. Maybe because…

Oh my god. I hated leaving. Before I left, all of us had a photo frenzy moment. It’s like the paparazzi invaded their home. Haha, it was really fun though. Anyways, after that escapade, I started hugging Annie. She started tearing up. Oh my god, I just had to leave. If I stayed there, I probably wouldn’t have left. I love her. Jesus, why does she have to cry? :(

Farez, Natasha and her fiace took me to the MRT via bus. On the bus, we started singing a children’s song, something along the lines of “I’m king of the jungle, something about spotted lambs, and crocodiles…”Then someone told  this sickingly hilarious joke.

*****What do you call a pine and a nut? A pine nut. What do you call a wall and a nut? A walnut. What do you call a chin and a nut? Look for the answer at the bottom of the post. ****** THE PUNCHLINE OF THE JOKE: a Muslim women in a hijab was telling this joke. It was shocking and funny.

As we reached the MRT, I hugged Farez and Natasha one last time. And then, as I tapped my card, it didn’t let me through -_______- I only had $2.94 left on my card. It was enough to make the journey, but I guess…idk.

Thank god everyone was still there; all of us had like $50s, or $10s, no small change. But, we eventually got enough for a ticket for me. I started crying, for the wrong reasons, and there was more hugging and rubbing backs.

Happiest day of Singapore so far. I love you guys.

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Why do guys do this?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?! BWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I wonder if he actually likes me or is just fooling around? Any way, it’s inappropriate -____- RIGHT? I mean, look. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

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*****A blowjob :)

i love my mommy

  • Edwin Tang: Las is the sin city I fell it no courtry no soel it fell so empty you will not like it because there stander is not high I mean in spirit the rest I will tell when I meet you in HK
  • Edwin Tang: Now it SFO midnight it very cold 67 degree I should go to sleep tomorrow go back to LAS good night dear Deborah I love you
  • Deborah Tang: good night love you too

It’s very simple: I love you so much.

I had a dream…a nightmare last night. I woke up I think around 5-10 minutes into it; woke up in tears, because I couldn’t handle the nightmare. It was horrible. I’m tearing up as I’m recalling it. Motherfucker. I love you so much; I hope you realize it; I love you so much, I don’t know how I can explain my love for you. I’d really die for you, and I’m sorry for all the hurt I’ve put you through. I wish… I wish I wasn’t born at times, then maybe life wouldn’t be this way. I love you so much, please realize this. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused. I’m so sorry for all the shit I did to you. I’m so sorry. I miss you so much. You’re only a few miles away, but I miss you so much. I’m so sorry I’m a bitch. I’m so so sorry. I wish every tear I shed could tell you how much I love you, and how sorry I am. I want to call you so bad, but I’ll see you soon, I know. I miss you. I’m so sorry. I never hated you. I’m so so sorry. I know I’m just repeating myself, but it is not bullshit. I miss you so much; I don’t ever want to never see you for a while. Without you…. I’m so sorry, and I love you so much. After all these years, I haven’t told you how much I appreciated, and I lacked the fucking courage to say I love you. You should know I love you, after all, shouldn’t you? I love you so much. I hope you read this. One day, doesn’t matter when. I hope you read this. I miss you so much, and it hasn’t even been that long since I’ve seen you. I guess it wasn’t a nightmare, but an epiphany for me to tell you… I love you, and miss you. I don’t hate you, I don’t think I ever had. Yes, I say mean things, but that’s self-defense. I love you so much; I hope nothing bad ever happens to you. I hope whenever you suffer, I’ll pray for you. I’m not a religious person, but I’ll pray to all the fucking gods  out there so you’ll be okay. I miss you so much. I love you. I wish I could see you right now, but I can only picture your beautiful face. Did I tell you how beautiful you are? No, you are so beautiful. You are so beautiful to me. All the tissues I’ve used up hahaha, as disgusting as that sounds, I think it’ll represent how many times we’ve laughed together over the stupidest shit. I miss you. And I love you.

I can’t believe I’m crying this much. Oh dear god.

I don’t think I’m going to disclose who this is to, because I don’t think there’s a need to. If I was mean to anyone, I’m sorry. And this is to you too. But, this is for someone that matters A LOT to me, and I don’t think I would be here without this person. But, this is to all of you out there, YOU KNOW I do care about you, even if we’ve been through a lot of shit. I have left a little part of my heart to you, because I like to consider myself having a big heart, enough to share with everyone I care about. I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to fuck our relationship up. I’m sorry.