my dad’s response to me joining the orchestra at hku. hahahah
“Orchestra is a certain thing to join. People there are completely different from the one you meet in LanGuiFan.”
*Lan Gui Fan: fyi, is a major party spot in Hong Kong BWAHAHAHAHA.
So, I’m back in Hong Kong…after 17 days or so….abroad in: Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam <3 Amazing amazing AHHHHMAZING places <3.
How do I feel now? I feel like I just came back from a three-day weekend abroad that happened quite frequently last semester. I feel like nothing’s changed—my friends haven’t left me—my courses are still hard as hell—I still don’t feel like studying—there’s “nothing to do.” But, all that’s different. My two bffs that I’ve made here left me. I have to make new friends. My roomie is leaving me… [I still don’t know why, honestly lol. I don’t think I was a bad roommate -___- maybe it was my other roommate…hmmmm]
I’m nervous, again. This time, it’s a lot worse than last semester. I was WILLING to meet new people—new semester, new beginning, more enthusiasm, more courage, more bravery. 2nd semester: lazy, tired, boring, getting old, already have some friends…It takes so much energy to make new friends, I just want to stick to the ones I have—but at that kind of rate, I’ll be really lonely this next semester and I don’t want that :(
So, I have a huge bucketlist to do after I settle down my vacation-oriented brain.
1. Pick up my HSBC card
2. Fill out FAFSA
3. Get an HKID replacement card
4. Get another fucking octopus card
5. Get a Patrick Manson key so I stop getting locked out
6. Get another new student HKU ID
Wow, fuck my life -__________- and no bffs to help me out.
—
What should I eat tomorrow for breakfast, lunch, dinner? That question was always easily answered when I could call up anyone to eat with. Now that phone list has been cut in half, and I might eat alone for the next 123902802 days until the semester is over. WOO-HOO, go me. -____-
Oh my god, I realized—I’m finally negative about life in a long time. Shit, hope nothing goes TOO downhill from here…
“i’m licking the ice cream—not your clit.” [i wish it was my clit though]
i got turned on by a very beautiful person today. and it’s not who you think it is.
HONG KONG = the place where SHIT happens. FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK.
napping/sleeping for 12+ hours. one more exam to go. AGHHHHHHHHHHHHH. :(
i had a tipsy conversation with a sober friend last night in the middle of mcdonalds at lkf in hong kong.
it was honestly a very deep and sentimental conversation that i have with myself when i’m alone, depressed, and lost. this time, i was not alone—others have the same ideas as me.
she asked me why do we have to care about our grades so much? why do we have to graduate college? why do we keep torturing ourselves by studying? it makes us depressed, not happy. we probably won’t succeed anyways even with a college degree. why can’t we live life to the fullest now? why can’t we do what we love to do?
i couldn’t answer her….for a while. in my tispy stupor, i had to think of a way to assuage her though—because, i know at the end of “the day,” everything will turn out somewhat okay.
so, to answer her questions, i said something along the lines of: it’s for “our future…” we have to start somewhere. nowadays, we need certain requirements, general skills in order to improve ourselves and our lives. i think what i said was either the truth, or utter bullshit. i WAS tipsy, and she thought i was sober, which i suppose is a good thing haha.
i’m studying abroad now; i have never been the happiest in my life, honestly. in my whole college life at least. no stress—um except failing exams. [i’m not that depressed about my grades…but i’ll somehow sort my way through that, fuck. -___-]
i’m still lost. i know what i want to do when i graduate, i think i know at least. but, i don’t know what i’m doing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like she said, WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
i probably have gained 9284014 lbs in 4 days since being in taiwan. the FOOOD. photos soon <3
got to see my bff, friends, and family <3 tis the life. i love studying abroad :D
just saying……. i haven’t partied SOBER in a long time. LONG LONG TIME. especially on a fucking SUNDAY. BWAHAHAHAHA.
i wasn’t supposed to party at ALL this weekend. and i haven’t. i’ve just had a sip or two of cocktails here and there—nothing too hardcore, and just hanging out with friends.
tonight however, was supposed to be a get-together dinner with some friends we haven’t seen in at least a month. but one of my really good friends here had a stressful week due to her cold, her studying, her midterms, and she just wanted to let loose by dancing. so, we headed to china bar. the guys bought a drink or two not to get schwasted or anything.
damn. i can dance sober. and pretty sexy too ;) and why do i say that????
if a gay stranger tells me i’m sexy, and have sex appeal, THAT HAS TO BE PRETTY DAMN FUCKING SEXY RIGHT?!?!?! hahahahaha
—-
tomorrow, studying at causeway bay @ my favorite starbucks. BUT FIRST, lunch with my chagiyahhhhh~. <3 aghhhh!! to study Asian Financial Institutions??? Or Intro to Accounting. fuck my life -__________-
i’ve been pretty busy lately—STUDYING.
i have two midterms in this coming week. one on thursday, and one on saturday [what the fuck right? a saturday?!?!?!]
i’m trying to study, but for one of my courses, AFI, i have no idea what my notes are about—it’s really like gibberish. the thing about this midterm is that 2 points for the correct answer, -1 for the wrong answer, 0 points for no answer. DUDE, IT’S NOT THE FUCKING SATs. i’m really fucked hahaha.
another midterm: intro to accounting. i haven’t started studying for that at all [i recently had a quiz though, so i could say i did study, just haven’t studied the next 2 chapters] ugh, i’m semi-fucked for that. i’m meeting my professor on tuesday to go over the quiz—hopefully i can try to earn some brownie points while there. lol.
—-
i’m still having fun. :) i’ve had a couple of sober nights just hanging out with friends till late at night—2-3am, which isn’t my usual 6.30am, but sober nights are fun too. it usually, actually ALWAYS, entails BT sessions—fun, nonetheless. :)
i’ve never been happier, or content with life. in the past three years of my college life, this semester has been the less stressful besides studying. the only pressure i have here is figuring out where my next meal was going to be. causeway bay, mong kok, central, cafeteria food. lol. no drama so far, not INTENSE drama at least—thank fucking god hahaha.
aight. gotta stop being so fucking positive now, have to wallow in my misery that is studying. haha
—-
don’t get me wrong, of COURSE i miss UNC. but i’m glad i’m free of the complicated relationships that tied me down while i was back there. thank god for being abroad—but eventually i’m going to have to go back and “face reality,” but time changes people, right? so, maybe things won’t be that bad anymore.
—-
last night during our bt sessions, my friend said, “wow deborah. why are you so high [off life] all the time? stop being so positive!!!” i haven’t heard anyone say that to me in a LONGGGG time. really made me happy. <3
***
DID I FUCKING MENTION, THIS IS MY FAVORITE HONG KONG WEBSITE BY FAR???????? www.openrice.com <3 <3 <3
1. chatroulette again? an easy win.
2. actual study case on: alcohol and class structure? gives me an excuse ;) haha, just kidding.
but, rawr, time to start thinking of a project topic on hong kong pop culture. this is significantly hard for me since i’m a study abroad student and not a local person. :(
very interesting alcohol: http://webct.hku.hk/webct/urw/lc2344527075001.tp2441676547001/cobaltMainFrame.dowebct.
idk if you guys can see it though. that’s why i was thinking about doing a case study on alcohol + class structure, because 1. alcohol currently takes up a large portion of my college life, 2. alcohol defines the eatery settings, 3. alcohol is everywhere, 4. you can meet a lot of interesting people under the influence, 5. alcohol makes a person speak a sober heart n a drunken state of mind.
*i’m not trying to promote alcohol, it’s just interesting to see how people differentiate themselves through the different types of alcohol available. i really hope the website works!!!
