BANGFUCKINGCOCK!! and PATTAYA!!!!
So, how does it feel to travel alone? Well, it’s nerve racking, exciting, dangerous and adventurous all at the same time. Today, I ended up going to: Central World, Siam Center [Siam region mostly], MBK, Siam Paragon, I can’t think of any other regions where I visited.
Since what I can recall from last year, security has tightened a hell of a lot. Well, maybe not. Ever since the whole yellow-red shirt civil war, and the burning down of a really famous important building I can’t even recall, there are like metal detectors at the major department stores I’ve visited. It’s kind of scary like, “OMG!! THERE REALLY ARE TERRORISTS IN THIS PEACEFUL COUNTRY!” ***on THAT note, there’s a norway slaughter. There’s also the Oslo bomb. WHAT THE FUCK. I feel like every time I’m in Thailand, some dramatic tragic event happens. Last year was that horrid airplane crash, as well as the London underground station terrorist bomb threat. -____-
I love shopping here!!! There’s so many cute things, and pretty clothes, and I looked over some shoes for my brother. They are so legit, yet pricey… but that’s okay. I told him to bring a lot of cash so we can both spend it on shopping :)
Today, I walked for an hour trying to get to the MRT station. On the hotel advertisement, it said the MRT station is only 300 meter away. NO REALLY?!?!?!?! [fucking google maps] and yes, I walked the wrong way. On the way home, I got on the back of a motorcycle because 1. I was lost. 2. I was so tired from walking around all day, and it was only 20 baht.
I didn’t eat anything special today :(. For one thing, I wasn’t comfortable walking around eating street food because my Thai skills for eating like so has not improved since the last time I was in Bangkok. I DID manage to finish a bag of papaya though :). I came back to the hotel to eat overpriced crappy seafood type thing.
There were no particular highlights to my day… just the fact that I was traveling alone for… 7-8 hours or so? I FEEL SO ACCOMPLISHED!! I got to where I wanted to be, without asking for directions… except for the last bit, riding the motorcycle back haha. ***I love Thailand: people are willing to help [with a little cash wouldn’t hurt either though].
I think I’m meeting my friend tomorrow. If she doesn’t show up, it won’t bother me much. After much research on google maps trying to find the closest fucking station to my hotel, it really was 300 meters away. Instead of turning left, I turned fucking right, and made a huge fucking circle. GO ME. Well, that’s what I get for not planning, or researching too much ahead of time? Haha.
I’m running low on cash already :(. I spend 177 baht on a sim card [to call people] and toothpaste. At least 100 baht on transportation. And 240 for that cab ride from the airport. And at least 200 on food so far. Should’ve brought out more Sing. Dollars to exchange into baht :(. I’m praying my brother comes with more money hahaha.
I have YET to do these things that I really want. I might do it with my brother if we don’t decide to head to Phuket or Pattaya, or Hua Hin [beaches]. These things are: [any] floating market, Chatuchak Weekend Market [guess I have to do this before my brother gets here anyways], HAVE TO GO TO GO-GO BARS AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And, sneak a picture. Have to go to silom to relive the good ole 2010 summer. What else do I want to do while I’m here?
Today, or tonight I should say, I feel lazy and don’t feel like writing much. But I’ll summarize my day anyways. ***Reminder: compare singapore to bangkok***
Today I met up with my good friend Pee-Oii at the Chatuchak station. Damn it, I thought we were going to J.J. market, but we didn’t end up going. INSTEAD, I was given a very nice surprise. I saw Pee-nung!!! I was quite shocked. I was hoping for Pee-Ann as a surprise. But Pee-nung was a great surprise too. We then met up with a new person who replaced Pee-dick [Kyle’s secret lover lol] called Pee-nei. He’s really nice and I like him a lot. Good replacement I suppose lol.
For 10-15 minutes or so, we were debating whether or not we should go watch Thai-boxing. I secretly wanted to to enjoy the experience since I’ve never been to either a sumo wrestling match in Japan, the WWF in the states, and Thai-boxing in Thailand. Haha. But, today I was wearing shorts, and Pee-Oii was wearing a skirt; in watching Thai-boxing in person, they had a rule that women can’t wear shorts or short skirts [maybe it’s because we’re a distraction, eh? ;)] Teheheeee.
We ended up going on a river tour that took around 30 minutes. I honestly didn’t care about the time. Tehe, as long as I got to spend time with my buddies. We were on the SOMETHING-SOMETHING river. Damn it, I’m such a bad Asian stereotypical tourist that I ought to know the name of the river :( [it’s really famous though if you guys are interested in researching]. Anyways, I took lots of pictures :) [redeeming the stereotype] I took a picture of a temple thing that we had climbed last year!!! [2010 in my bangcock album] oh, wow. I did not realize I typed “bangcock” instead of Bangkok lol, guess you had to read my last summer’s tumblr posts to understand :). Anyways, yes, I’ll put captions on my facebook photos [or, I honestly might be too lazy to do so].
Then we got lunch at the place we had dinner last year with Pee-Ann and Pee-Top and Kyle, and Pee-Oii. We had yellow curry soft shell crab, salted egg with squid, and… fish. It was good. Obviously, there was not a single dish of veggies [quite disappointed, but it’s okay, as long as Pee-Oii was happy haha].
We then decided to head to Siam because Pee-Oii needed to 1. pay bills, 2. go shopping, 3. hangout (?) And, this is where it got truly interesting for a short bit.
Pee-Oii told me to say to the taxi drivers: “Bai Siam ka” [meaning, can you get to Siam? I thinkkkk] We hopped onto the first taxi, and surprisingly he understood me haha. At a stoplight, a police officer starts knocking on the window of the taxi drivers side. Everyone became dead silent. The officer and the taxi driver were obviously speaking Thai so I couldn’t understand a single word, but I did notice the gesture about Pee-nei’s seatbelt not being buckled. Then things got worse, the taxi driver had to rip off his taxi license from his tiny podium [I don’t know how to explain what it is].
TURNS OUT: the taxi driver 1. didn’t tell Pee-nei to buckle up on the passenger side. 2. he didn’t have his license on him because it was at the police station already [OH MY FUCKING GOD, I KNOW RIGHT?!?! Why is he on the bloody road?] 3. The license in his car wasn’t even of him.
WHAT I CONCLUDED: He stole someone’s taxi. Maybe?
Haha, so that was the scariest funniest highlight of the day. Then, we hopped onto a different taxi. And this taxi driver was interesting as well. As I was conversing in English with Pee-Oii, the taxi driver obviously knew I was a farang [foreigner]. He kept asking Pee-nei where I lived, how much it cost, how many kilometers was America from Thailand. Was he trying to WIFE me? Or gold-dig me somehow? Trust me, I don’t have any money. I’m waiting for my brother to come to help me live by. Haha.
Oh yes, then we got to Siam discovery, headed to Central world for a bit. And THERE’S AN ICE SKATING RINK IN ONE OF THESE PLACES. I took pictures of kids who were failing. TROLOLOLOL.
I was debating whether to go to Silom area by myself tonight. But, I just came back to the hotel. And, researched how to get to Pattaya. What to do in Pattaya. How to get to the floating market tomorrow.
Things to do when my brother gets here:
- Book one more night at the hotel.
- Figure out whether to take the Northern Bus Terminal or Southern Bus Terminal to get to Pattaya.
- Find a hotel at Pattaya.
- Find a hotel back at Bangkok.
SO MANY THINGS TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I was thinking of going to a floating market that James Bond so famously starred in in one of his movies tomorrow[I was never really interested in James Bond, so I can’t tell you which one…]. But I have so many things to plan, I might just get up early, research more things to do. Chill by the poolside and read my Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Sounds good??? I THINK SO!!! Oh fuck, oh right. I’m going to Khao San Road to meet up with some other friends. And then I’ll be waiting for James at the hotel.
What do you guys think, should I go to a go-go bar with my brother? Or would that be HELLA awkward? Or…cultural experience we both need to share? Bwahaha. I know—I’m just a perverted girl who really wants to see what the hell a ping pong show is. I got my fill of gay strippers, prostitutes already. But I have yet to see a ping pong show.
Pee-Oii also recently came to Singapore. And, as we were all shopping today at the high-end department stores, we started comparing Singapore’s high-end shopping versus Bangkok’s. The environment is totally different. There’s no scent of “pompous shopping” in Bangkok [if that makes sense]. Everyone’s treated equally, farang and locals, it’s kind of refreshing. Whereas in Singapore, you can tell the department store clerks pay special attention to those WHO DON’T LOOK ASIAN. Yeah, I know I’m a foreigner too—but, it’s because I look like I’m Asian, they don’t give me the special treatment—I DON’T KNOW HOW I SHOULD FEEL ABOUT THAT. I’m pissed, yet happy at the same time. Meaning, locals won’t bother me that much—happy. Meaning, locals won’t give me special attention—pissed. Make sense?
Anyways, we then discussed how a lot of Asian societies are trying to become more Westernized. Our conclusion? There are some Asian cultural things we need to preserve, because it’s our culture to do certain things. Adopting the Western culture doesn’t make the Asian culture better. Take “credit” for example. In a couple of years, Thailand’s also going to have a credit, debt crisis. -_____-
So, last night I had too much fun and came home late so I’m going to summarize what I did last night and today.
On 7/25/2011, I just chilled in the hotel room researching things about how to get to Pattaya, and so forth. I also ended up reading HARRY POTTER AND THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!!! Yes, it was amazing. I just chilled in the hotel till 5pm ‘cause I had a date with some of my girlfriends I met last year.
I headed off to Ratchethewi BTS station and from there I took the motorcycle taxi for 80baht. Oh my god. GOOD TIMES. I took photos as I was on the motorcycle. Pretty stupid? I THINK NOT. Lol. And as I was doing so, I past the grand palace yet again. I also passed by one of three remaining metallic castles in the world. I also passed the constitution (?) statue. Tehehehe. I had so much fun. Oh right. My destination was: Khao Sarn Road. It’s a typical tourist trap, but oh dear, it was fun.
I got lost for around 30 minutes trying to find the fucking KFC my girlfriends were at. Turns out I was on the other side of Khao Sarn Road. Anyways, we met up and had dinner. It wasn’t that great in all honesty :/, but we had fun catching up.
THEN, we decided to go bar hopping. We only hopped to two different bars, but that was… enough. Hahahaha. I finally had Chang beer (Thailand’s beer). Then, we hopped to another bar with “very strong cocktails.” The night got interesting. My friends and I took pictures with farangs (foreigners), there was an Aussie, there were the Italiano couples.
PWAHAHAHA: I told my friend I thought this guy was cute [yes, I was drunk, and I assume she was too]. I also said “I WANT TO MAKE OUT WITH HIM BY THE END OF THE NIGHT.” And, she told him that I think. Lol. He and his friends kept staring at me, and I was like, oh shit -____-, but it didn’t bother me that much because I was having fun anyways.
I bought two roses from a little girl 20 baht each, because 1. I was drunk, 2. the little girl was cute [I am NOT a pedophile] and 3. I was happy.
The girls and I headed to the bathroom, and we entered the men’s, because the women’s were locked. Thank god no guy was in there. Then as we filed out, a hot European guy kept looking at the men symbol and looking at us, confused. Bwahaha. It was kind of cute.
But, that was pretty much the summary of the night. No naked men this time… :( but pretty foreigners!!! Hahaha.
Oh yes! And I’m so proud of myself. I got to the hotel before my brother did. He called me 10 minutes right after I got to the hotel. I was like HELL YEAH!!! I CAN BE DRUNK AND RESPONSIBLE AT THE SAME TIME. :)
And, today. 7/26/2011, or now it’s actually midnight as I’m typing this. Me and my brother woke up early to go do his shopping. His list consisted of five things, we only accomplished buying one thing -_____-.
We shopped for his shoes [leather, wingtips, etc. etc. etcsadkfjsdkjf;af] for at least 7 hours. And, we never got it. BUT, I did coax him into getting SKINNY JEANS!!! WOO-HOOOOO. I’m so proud of myself.
We shopped at this crocodile, ostrich, snake skin, leather shoe shop. Oh my god. It wasn’t trashy at all [okay, fine, there were several items that were and looked fake], it was like shoe-gasm. But, it was hella pricey. The shoes that me and my brother liked were 14,900baht on a 50% discount already. BAHHHH, we were pissed. But, actually it’s quite cheap. Genuine crocodile skin and leather? Who wouldn’t want that???
And, I bought 2 shirts for myself. 2 typical tourist shirts: 1 chang beer singlet, and 1 I love Bangkok shirt.
Nothing too interesting happened today. OH, except for the fact that my brother and I were split up because he got onto the mrt faster than I did and I was stuck in the station. I was scared and nervous ‘cause he doesn’t have a cell phone. I told him to come back, but he OBVIOUSLY kept going. My bejeezus.
Going to Pattaya tomorrowwwww!!!! Taking a bus, chillin’ at the beach. I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow :( it’s raining tonight :(.
I’M ON AN ISLAND MATHAFACKAAAAAAAAAAAAA.
AMAZING DAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. So this is how it went. Me and my brother got up at 7.30am to get some breakfast and to check out of the hotel. We took the MRT to Sukhumvit, then switched to Asok BTS to head to Ekkamai BTS to catch the bus to PATTAYA!!!
We were right on time as we bought the ticket. We got to Pattaya around 11.30pm, and checked in at our hotel. This could pass off as a 5 star hotel [but, I think because of the location, and amenities within the room deems it a 3.5-4 star] but, HELL YEAH. It’s only like $43 a night for a nice hotel.
After we checked in, me and brother really just wanted to head to the beach to chill for a day. I lined up some cultural things for us to do, such as visit the Sanctuary of Truth, the Pattaya floating market, etc. yep, we ended up doing none of that cultural stuff. -____- BUT, we had much more fun.
We tried to find the beach, we may have gotten lost, but we decided to keep walking anyways. We walked to a food stall and had some local noodles. It was really goooood.
Anyways, as we got to what we think was the populous beach, turns out we ended up at the pier [in all actuality the populous part was around 2-3km away… I think it would be too much of a walk to be a relaxing day at the beach]. So, me and my brother decided to head towards the pier.
WE ENDED UP GOING TO AN ISLAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH YEAH. WAYYY BETTER THAN GULA GULA [actually I wouldn’t know] We took a local ferry there, and then switched to a mini bowl boat (?). I didn’t take pictures on the bowl boat because I didn’t want my camera to get wet.
I haven’t swam in the Pacific Ocean… in… what seems like forever [which may be YEARS!!!] I don’t think Sentosa beach counts, because 1. it’s ugly as hell. 2. it’s artificial. 3. Singapore’s Pacific got nothing on Thailand :)
It was just a pretty amazing day. I don’t know if I got my “tan” on. Bwahahahaha, Liz [and other girls who are like her] missed out. There were some pretty hawwwwt guys, and one really creepy Indian guy. And there was this European girl, oh my god, she had an amazing body. I would probably go lesbian for her.
The sad thing was neither I nor my brother had swimsuits. I just swam in my bra, and underwear, and tank top and shorts. TEEEHEEEEEE. I had fun regardless. Oh, it was just amazing. Photos can’t replicate how I felt. I also did a lot of deep thinking. Oh yes, the sunset back on the ferry was beautiful as well.
Then, me and my brother decided to grab seafood from a high class restaurant. It’s our 2nd to last day here, so, why not spend a little. :)
TOMORROW, heading to Bangkok again. Doing some last minute shopping. Maybe get a massage tomorrow too :) and the hotel we’re staying at would be another 3-4 star hotel. OH HELL YES FOR agoda.com <3
***Oh my god. I totally forgot. The highlight of theisland trip was that the ferry was PLAYING MY JAM!!! They played “My Love” by Westlife <3 <3 <3. It means a lot to me. And then, they also played “fireflies” and “apple bottom jeans, boots with da furrr”***
Nothing good happened last night. EXCEPT THERE WERE 3 FUCKING COCKAROACHES IN OUR FUCKING ROOM. EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I couldn’t sleep. So I demanded a room change. The new room wasn’t any better. OF ALL HOTELS, THE LAST ONE, IN BANGKOK HAD TO BE DIRTY AS FUCK. -____- ew. Kill me now.
Anyways, onto other news. I did a lot of shopping. Like a lot. I also bought some Absolut at duty free. And some chocolate for my host family :) hopefully they’ll like it.
And, LUCKY ME. I was supposed to fly out of Bangkok today at 9pm, which resulted in me having to stay at the airport from 5am to 9pm. But then, I went to the front desk and asked them for an ealier flight. AND HELL YEAH, got the first flight out. I don’t care where I sit at this point, I just want to get to Singapore. Wow, I’m actually quite surprised I just typed that. I don’t really want to go back, but life is so easy there; 1. meal’s are always available, 2. transportation is a breeze, 3. the “country” is small, 4. everyone speaks English. MEH.
Only, what… 20 days or so till I leave singapore back to TAI-FUCKING-WAN!?!?!? Hell yeah, who doesn’t want THAT?
***I’m currently at the gate waiting to be boarded. There is not one single foreigner at the gate waiting to go Singapore. Do you see how pathetic it is? [I don’t know why I’m hating on Singapore so much…sorry if I offend anyone, or make people think twice about coming to Singapore.] It’s a good “country,” I just feel a resentment towards it due to the past, and the present, and how I was brought up…************ONE WHITE PERSON WALKED BY! And, counting.
Oh yes. And I propose a new tumblr: cockasianssleepingintheairport
And, oh my god: I hate $%@^#&! PEOPLE. How can I hate my own race? Well, yes. Let me tell you, its fucking possible.
Wow, there’s so many cusswords in this post alone. I don’t know why. I think it’s because I’m sleep deprived, because I refused to sleep knowing that cockroaches existed in that god awful fucking MOTEL [is more like it[.
i miss thailand so much for the following (and many other) reasons
- great friends and people.
- amazing food.
- new lifestyle.
- eye-opening culture.
- beautiful place <3.
- ANDDDDD… the more humorous reasons:
- finally rode a bike after 6 years of idle-ness.
- hand-washed my own laundry.
- strippers galore.
- world’s best sex industry at its finest.
- many nights of random craziness.
anything else needed to be said?
i want to go back. NOW. GET ME AN ECONOMIC-CLASS TICKET THERE, NOW. FUCK, I’LL SWIM THERE.
BANGFUGGINGKOK!!! DAY FOUR!! Gay bar.
Around 9pm last night: After a nap, we headed out into Silom district again. I feel like me and Kyle have become regulars there haha, it’s funny. We wanted to head to DJ Station (a quite famous gay pub/bar/club), but they were checking IDs. You had to be 20 years of age, and that would be legal. I just turned 19, and I wanted to punch the bouncer—not really though because I was actually hesitant in going in there the first place. A lot of people walked by me and Kyle in the pouring rain. So, instead of heading out immediately, we chilled under the roof until the rain subsided. As this happened, we met a group of Malaysians who also happened to be turned back. One of their group members had 17 days left to be 20. They wanted to go see a gay strip club—and, apparently, me and Kyle are now experts. I don’t’ know if that’s a compliment, or really creepy x100. At first, me and Kyle thought they were gay, because they first headed to a gay club, then wanted to head to a gay strip club. Turned out, all of them were straight (4 people in total, 1 middle aged guy, 1 really hot guy)). The middle aged guy just wanted the ‘kids’ to see the sex life of Thailand as they’ve never seen something quite so ‘fresh’ or ‘bizarre’ before. So they lost their ‘sex life tourism in Thailand’ virginity, as did I 4 days ago.
We took them along gay boulevard, and I, yet again, got dragged this way and that, and people have already recognized my face—haha, it’s funny and sad at the same time, I think. We took them to ‘Dreamboy’ because that was a HUGE eye-opener next to Jupiter. Me and Kyle didn’t head in because it was expensive, and we already saw the show and eye candy. We chilled outside and waited for the Malaysians because we wanted to go to G.O.D. with them (a gay club). I got harassed as usual while waiting outside. Not getting felt up, but a lot of straight guys came to talk to me. Other gay strip club bouncers came to usher me to their place while I was clearly outside ‘Dreamboy.’ It was a cute time.
Oh, for ‘dinner,’ did I mention me and Kyle ate papaya? It was really sweet and tasted delicious. Only 20baht for a whole papaya—amazing.
After the ‘Dreamboy’ show ended, and the Malaysians came out, we exchanged numbers and email addresses so we can all hook each other up if we were in Malaysia or Taiwan.
We headed to G.O.D., and that’s where another epic night came about. We arrived around 1am, and the Malaysians needed to head back to the hotel. They realized we were going to a gay club and weren’t interested, REALLY were NOT interested as well. But, they had to get up at 5.30am anyways to catch a bus to Pattaya. We said our goodbyes, and we headed into the club. It was empty, and fucking depressing. And, I really wanted to get out of there within an hour time period :(.
BUT, the party really started to start (haha, bad grammar, eff that) around 2-2.30am. I made A LOT of friends, or I met a lot of people last night. I didn’t know I would be popular seeing as I’m a chick. The gay community loves me, and I love them. Let me tell you about the club design. There’s 3 mini stages for half-naked men (provided by the club) to dance on with flashing lights. It was pretty nice. I met… let’s count how many people I met with. At least 10 people, and danced with at least 3 more different people. I met 2 straight guys, and wanted to hurl -_____-. Was not interested in them even though I’m straight myself, 1. because I felt that they wanted to get into my pants realizing I’m the only chick available, 2. they seemed semi-perverted.
I MET A DREAMBOY LAST NIGHT!!!!!!! AND, IT WAS A DREAMBOY I THOUGHT WAS CUTE!!! AND…turns out he’s gay—but it’s okay :). His name’s “Ball” and when I return to Bangkok next summer, I hope all the current ‘Dreamboys’ won’t get fired, or quit :(, because they have already recognized my face. Out of the 10 people, I met a guy who actually has been in North Carolina!! And we hit it off greatly gay-ly. I was supposed to get his email, but we split up without saying goodbye :( (will go into detail as to why I was in a rush to go). Fuck, I really wanted his email!! Bah, I feel like shit right now :(. He was 32, and only looked 26, and was cute and had a nice body. Haha. Out of the 10 people, I met 3 people—2 girls, 1 guy. Gay, bisexual, straight (?). The guy’s name is Jebbie, like Debbie :). I never remembered the girl’s names. Long story short, me and Kyle headed to Jebbie’s place at around 4am. Crazy, creepy, totally insane, totally unsafe, but… it was really okay.
I didn’t get to say goodbye to Ball either :(—not saying goodbye was my most epic fails of the night and makes me really sad. :( x100.
We headed back to Jebbie’s place—he lived right next to where the Princess of Thailand takes music lessons. His neighbors are all somewhat royal—it was quite interesting. We chilled in his place till 7am, and headed back to the hotel. Nothing shady went down; we had really nice conversations. It wasn’t even awkward, but chill. One girl was quite innocent, which I found surprising, but it’s okay, we told her everything she needed to know about ‘Dreamboy.’
3.35pm: watching World Trade Center—tearing up bad.
Jebbie wants to hang out again tonight at around 10pm, oh geez, I don’t think I can make it. 1. My flight leaves tomorrow, 2. I don’t want to stay out too late, 3. Can I please finally go to a straight club my last night here? Haha, we’ll see. I’ll call him when I get to the MRT station.
So, what’s my itinerary for this last day? Get out of bed, order room service, eat dinner with Pee-oii, Pee-ann, and Pee-top HOPEFULLY!!! *FINGERS CROSSED X100* And then, possibly hanging out with Jebbie again.
BANGFUCKINGCOCK!! NIGHT: 3. Oh Dear, God!
Tonight: seriously, viewer discretion is STRONGLY advised. If you really know me, I’m prone to do wild things—I’ve never experienced something quite like this before. If you so happen to come across this blog, it is strongly advised that you skip this post.
This has got to be the most exciting/harassing/twisted/depressing post I’m going to make about my trip in Thailand so far—you’ll see why in a second.
I’m not going to go in chronlogical order like I usually do, because I want to keep the memories fresh—yes, they are fresh alright.
Tonight, 9pm, me and Kyle headed to Dreamboy (please, google it, if you are EXTREMELY bored. Silom soi… (?)). It’s pretty much another gay strip club like I described on my first night in Bangkok. This… was a lot… more graphic, more penises, more… well, there was sex involved—yep, sex. Want to keep reading? Go ahead, things are going to get pretty graphic up in here.
First off, me and Kyle headed up the stairs to a room, where we sat front row RIGHT IN front of the stage. Yes, we can see the ‘Dreamboys’ lining up in front of us, with only whitey tighties, and blackey tighties—they’re half naked this time—GASP!! Yeah, I know…quite different from Jupiter.
There were several shows tonight. Oh, god. Oh , shit, I don’t even want to go into detail. I did a LOT of cussing tonight; a lot. I haven’t cussed at all here in Thailand, except for that one mud accident, but…no. tonight, it was just too much. I REALLY wish I do not turn lesbian at this point—actually, it’s not going to happen anytime soon :).
1st show: hip hop dancing—stripping dancing occurred. And, penises were pulled out. Yep. There was a cowboy and a ghetto person dancing together.
2nd show: lady-boys take the stage. They came out in typical sexy woman lingerie. The ending act: they showed their penises… I didn’t know whether it was appropriate to hurl or not, because I was going to die. Want to keep reading? Let’s go.
3rd show: 3 men were showering, with body wash all over. Portions of their ‘head’ were showing. And yes, they were in thongs. Eventually, the thongs came off. Yep, let’s keep going. Oh, blow jobs, hand jobs were given. At least I learned how to give a blow job and hand job right? Johnny Chen?????
4th show: a couple of ‘Dreamboys,’ out of auction I suppose, had sex. On stage. Yep, yep. I’m…. I was speechless.
I started getting used to the whole gay scene—how was I not supposed to? It’s right in front of my fucking face—I accepted, and had fun while at it :).
-CAN I JUST SAY: there were a couple of gay Malaysians sitting right across from me, who were so loud… the ‘Dreamboys’ and lady-boys messed with them a lot, which was a good thing, because they were annoying.
5th show: a couple of ‘Dreamboys’ came out, without their whitey/blackey tighties on. Yes, they were naked, and they went around the stage to show the… ‘buyers’ their crowned jewels. Um, if you really know me, you’ll know this is a first. I touched 2 different fucking penises. Touched one multiple times. Oh, dear, god. Oh, god… the whole time I was thinking, IS HE WEARING A CONDOM?? WILL I GET AN STD ON MY HAND????? Yes, he/they were wearing a condom—thank god, thank god x100. Chatroulette got nothing on this strip club.
6th show: lady-boys came on stage again. They dragged two audience members—from the annoying gay Malaysian group. It was a comedy act—I found it disturbing, really disturbing, but I still laughed, which is fine I suppose.
7th show: some ‘Dreamboys’ came out again (I HATED/LOVED SITTING FRONT ROW); yes, they were naked, and pretty much the same people from the 5th show. Touched a couple of penises again. Oh, I am so apathetic/indifferent at this point. It was a really nice show actually. They had body paint (?) that glowed in the dark, with blacklights, and they moved their body in a really artsy way. I really liked it.
I was wearing a white top, and black shorts today—I shined like a person who didn’t belong there anyways. GUH-REATTT. I know, right?
8th show: I think people had sex again…but I don’t quite remember.
If we wanted to continue watching shows, or we wanted to ‘buy’ an ‘escort’ for the night, with our drinks in hand, we could go downstairs, no charge. We, of course, went downstairs.
Whitey tighties: upstair boys. Blackey tighties: downstair/coyote boys.
We sat second row again… still… too close. Oh, this is where the ‘fun’ part comes in. I got felt up so many times… I lost count. Like, yeah. Gay strip club? No, it was a straight stripper’s/prostitute’s heaven. I was pretty much the only chick in there out of at least 50 gay guys (maybe straight), and there were a couple of chicks too.
The ‘Dreamboys’ made their round again. I recognize pretty much all the faces that I like/we made eye contact with. Did I mention, no. 37, he kept staring at me from the very beginning when we were upstairs. I think he really wanted me to buy him. There were a LOT of guys who wanted me to buy him as an escort… I looked like shit tonight, wtf are they thinking????
They (Dreamboys) were cute-which makes me sad. Sex, crime, and corruption in South East Asia—I’m here to make an A+; get ready UNC-CH.
Each guy I recognized would stand in front of me, smile, and, it was just really really cute. I loved the attention, but the whole time I’m thinking, the only reason they’re doing this…is because they’re there for the money, and so they are a pro at seducing ANY type of person, be they gay, straight, or bi. AHHHH, makes me extremely dissapointed—if I asked a worker if one of the ‘Dreamboys’ were gay or straight, they’d tell you what you like to hear; they would just make out/have sex/do whatever you want to them, just for the money. This is what I personally think…will go into detail later :(.
What show am I on ?: Some ‘Dreamboys’ were dancing to really high music—it was legit
Show no. 100: penises out in the open for display, again. There were several guys I made eye contact with and smiled—-fuck. Thank you, no. 5, and no. 15. You ‘made’ my night…into semi-hell.
Did I mention, during this whole time downstairs, if I wasn’t getting felt up by a worker, I would get felt up by one of the ‘Dreamboys?’ I was pretty popular tonight—really, seriously. I don’t understand. Apparently, a lot of guys want to fuck me. They gay? They straight? Do I look that rich?
Tonight was extremely expensive. At least 560baht per person. And, I didn’t take anyone home with me tonight—haha. ‘Chang man tou;’ I accept. It was worth the experience. But tomorrow night, I’m heading to a straight club… with… I suppose more ‘normal,’ or what I consider, people.
The show pretty much ended, and everyone headed out. While still in the club, I made eye contact with no. 16. We were looking at each other on stage; and he was really intense. But, when we were all about to leave the club, he stared at me again… but he was escorting a man tonight… I felt horrible, not because I didn’t ‘buy’ him, because… I don’t know how to describe the feeling. [I have a soft spot in my heart…I know a lot of people think I’m a bitch, but if I see someone less helpless than I am (beggars, children on the street, people I consider need more help than anyone else), I will try in some way or another help them out).
I think it was no. 42 that I saw outside the club. Oh, god, he was so cute. I thought (maybe he is, I’ll never know) he was gay; but he was like ‘why didn’t you pick me?’ ‘Aren’t you gay?’ ‘No!! I’m a real man!!’ Oh, I would totally pick you if 1. I wasn’t a virgin. 2. I have really no morals. 3. If I was a billionaire.
No. 15, and no. 5 kept following me, and wanted to fuck me pretty much. They followed me and Kyle for a while… until they reached their motorcycles and left.
Did mention how no. 15 carried me and dry humped me? That was really fun, and hilarious, not going to lie.
NOW… IT’S 2.22AM!!! And, I’m dead tired. But I’m going to post my DAY today :). Hope you guys enjoy the PG version.
BANGFUGGINGKOK!!! LITERALLY: DAY 3.
I woke up today (or yesterday), at 6am, because Pee-oii was supposed to pick me and Kyle up at 6.30am heading for the beach, and… little did I know, this other palace. Me and Kyle waited downstairs till 7am, grabbed a couple of Asian delicious buns for the ‘Pee’ people. Thank god, I brought Pee-ba’s fresh made cookies, as that was me and Pee-top’s breakfast.
I fell asleep for at least 30 minutes while in the car.
We reached this old palace… in a place called Phetchaburi (the same name as the road where my hotel is located at). There were three monuments of this old palace (pictures to prove). We got out of the taxi (yes, we rented a taxi/limousine styled), and climbed steep steep hills, and 19283912 stairs to reach the first monument.
There were tons of ‘ling’ (monkeys) on the way. Oh, yeah. I was pissed off. Foreigners have a 150baht entrance fee; Thai people have a 20baht entrance fee. If only I wasn’t so white—actually, I’ve been sunburnt, and tanned x100. So, I’m not as white as I used to be.
We all had fun climbing steep hills, made random jokes on the way. While Pee-oii, Pee-ann, Pee-top, Kyle and I, stopped to take pictures/scenic views at the second monument, the girls decided to let the boys go take pictures of the last monument. 1. We didn’t have a substantial breakfast. 2. We had the excuse of being girls, and them being macho-men (Pee-top was a Navy seal, whereas Kyle… he’s gay, and he should train to be a little more macho :) ).
After Pee-top and Kyle came back, and the girls buying drinks and a facial towelette waiting for them, we all headed down the palace. This 150baht entrance was: my gym ticket fee—I thought about the money that way. Tons of sweat, 2-3 hours worth of climbing. It’s all gooooood :).
When we headed back to our taxi, an old couple starts ranting about something—and I thought we were in trouble. They told us that monkeys were messing with our ride. 1. They broke the back windowshield, and they took away the antenna for the radio. We all laughed it off; but, how were we going to pay back the owner of the taxi? We never discussed it I think, or at least no in English.
After the hard climb, we headed to another palace from the era of King Rama IV. We headed into the palace (Pee-top stayed in the car/taxi to chill).
Because, me and Kyle didn’t want to be charged a foreigners fee, smart, ‘sway’ Pee-oii and Pee-ann went ahead to buy us tickets while we discretely hid in the back of a couple of other Thais. We rode bikes around this vacation spot/palace. We headed to a beach house first, and took tons of pictures there. The weather was nice, and the scene was gorgeous and very clean. Me and Pee-oii had to get sarongs because of our shorts—too sexy for the palace? I think so :). I also had to get a shawl, because I think my sleeves were too short. Me and Kyle kept our mouths shut tight, and headed in right behind Pee-oii and Pee-ann. We took tons of pictures again, and had immense amounts of fun. Pee-ann helped me wear old Thai style sarong/costume pieces (pictures to prove soon :)).
There were HUGE trees at this palace. Some are believed to be sacred. I wanted everyone to get under a HUGE tree to self-time the picture. When, the timer got to 3 seconds or so, I was too late to run over, and plus, a worker came by and said, something that regarded the tree (not supposed to touch it? Not supposed to be near it? Nu mai ruu ka). I have a hilarious picture—but, I blocked the beautiful Pee-ann and handsome Kyle while enacting my silly pose.
After our tour of this palace, yet another 2-3 hours or so, we decided to head towards lunch and the beach.
We headed to a pit stop in Café Amazon (chain store that sells overly priced beverages, but still tastes good). Me and Pee-oii headed to the toilet.
Toilet custom of Thailand: women (and I think men, not sure) stand RIGHT OUTSIDE each toilet door. There does NOT exist a line, or cue. You just wait for an empty opening of a toilet, and stand in front of it. I didn’t believe Pee-oii at first… and I was like… holy shit, wtf.
Pee-oii and I then headed back to Café Amazon where we spoke English (OBVIOUSLY), and we got overhead by a retired English teacher. Pee-ann made her ‘Miss Congeniality’ move, and talked it up with the teacher for a while.
After the congenial conversation, Pee-ann also won a bag of Thai desserts while at it—mai aroi, sorry teacher :/. WE HEADED TO LUNCH—FOR THE BEACH!!!
For lunch, we headed to Hua Hin, a beach type city. I’m going to look for condos for my mom—but, it’s better advised to look at condos in Goon Tay (Local/Thai people say that instead of Bangkok).
We first decided to go to this restaurant/café place—but they focused more on Spaghetti/pasta. But, I told Pee-oii in the car that I wanted some seafood. So, we made a 50 meter car ride to another restaurant.
It was beach-viewed. We had great seafood dishes. I ordered coconut. OH MY GOD, HAVEN’T HAD A COCONUT IN LITERALLY YEARS—I WAS SOOOO HAPPYY!!! And, yes, I ate the coconut meat too, and cleaned the shell out completely.
I finally got to pay the bill.. Which was hiked up to 2005baht. It’s all good; parents gave me money for a reason. I’m glad that everyone enjoyed lunch, or I hope they did. Pee-top didn’t eat much because… shit, I forgot to mention where we went!!!! (Please ignore this, when I have revised my post). He didn’t eat much because he ate in the taxi while waiting for us touring the grand vacation palace home.
The beach was not totally gorgeous, but I was totally fine with it because I miss the waters, and I missed the beach. I’m glad I didn’t bring my swimsuit because I would never leave the place, despite the fact that there was a storm that headed our way. Pee-top was my personal photographer while I waddled in the water with Pee-oii—khorb khoon ka!!! X100000.
There was a disclosure of someone’s secret life during those minutes in the water—yay?
It was around 4pm, and a storm was approaching; so we all decided to head back to Goon Tay (sp/pronouncaition?). Me and Pee-oii had a really genuine/mature/factual/nice conversation that made me feel really at ease. Thank you so much Pee-oii.
Pee-top dropped me and Kyle off at the hotel. I really don’t want to go into detail about this…because… I’m going to tear up. Fuck. Supposedly, I’ll possibly/hopefully see Pee-ann and Pee-top tomorrow to chill some more. And, today, would probably be the last day I’ll see Pee-oii. Fuck, I hate saying goodbyes. There’s always facebook, and I KNOW FOR A FACT, that I am definitely going to Thailand next year; I don’t care if I have to give up an internship, or sell my body for money, I’m going back to see these wonderful people. Go into detail enough? It’s really hard to say goodbye. What tugged at my heart was, that Pee-ann said “I’m going to change my plane ticket from Bangkok to Sukhothai, because I want to send you off to Taiwan.” If she actually does this, and sends me off, I won’t leave… I’ll cry so hard. I really hope she doesn’t send me off, but a part of me wants her to, fuck.
I have realized that I have never cussed so much in a post (in Thailand) before. I’m surprised at myself. I was scarred tonight; and I feel like I have the right to express my vulnerability at this moment—thank you for understanding. Viewer discretion, as I mentioned, is EXTREMELY advised.
I wanted to go out tonight, because it was only arournd 7.30-8pm. We decided to go to Silom area tonight to check out the other famous gay strip club branch.
Me and Kyle pretended to be temporary bf/gf for half the night, so nobody would pester us into watching “ping-pong” shows. To get to Silom, we decided to try and take the BTS—woot woot. We are reallyyyyyyyyyyy Sugyoooot!!!!!! We walked around 15-20 minutes to the BTS, whilst locking arms. People were still looking at me, or mostly guys. I really don’t think I looked like a hooker tonight…maybe I was REALLY wrong, looking at what happened tonight at ‘Dreamboys.’
I reached ‘customer service/ticketing service’ at the stop, asking to change 1000baht into 100coins, and the rest in paper. The customer service lady was a real bitch. I wanted to punch the glass hole larger, so I could punch the whore in the face—BITCH X100. okay, done with my rant.
Me and Kyle can survive anywhere I have decided. We can get around easily. WE RODE THE BTS BY OURSELVES. Actually, think that’s typical survival skill 101. I can only deal with competent people… and a little more mature than usual when it comes to real-life situations thank you very much. We arrived Sala Daeng (sp? Silom station) safe and sound, in one piece, and did not have to change trains because we didn’t get lost. I felt very accomplished tonight.
We, or really just Kyle, ate at this place called Bug and Bee. Apparently, on a gay website, it is quite well-known in the gay community. Spinach crème tomato lasagna. One ‘chef’ was a not-entirely-transformed lady-boy. Another ‘chef’ was just really cute, but then I’m thinking he’s gay because this restaurnat is known in the gay community—GREAT.
Me and Kyle headed down gay boulevard yet again….only to lead to my next post…
3.04am: Love-BEG. Sleeepppppppppppp x100.
BANGFUGGINGKOK!!! DAY TWOOO!!!
Bangkok Day 2:
9.21pm: I just came back form a fantastic dinner on at a Navy based restaurant. Long story. I had Sang Som—a Thai rum alcohol thing. OH, yeah. I’m still tipsy, not going to lie. So… my whole month of soberness just went out the drain. Yep.
Good/bad news, I think I’m sunburned, or tanned—I have a scoop neck of redness. Tis quite funny.
My whole day had the best of the best of people: Pee-oii, Pee-ann, Pee-nung (!!!!!), Pee-top (Pee-ann’s older brother), Kyle and I. Me and Kyle had a really rough start in the morning, after our adventure from last night, we grudgingly got up at 7am to face the music/fun, but it was totally worth it—wouldn’t be late for this moment. We had our continental breakfast, till I saw Pee-oii pointing at me outside the hotel window—made me giggle, and finally glad to have seen her after only a week—sad existence? I THINK NOT. We picked up Pee-nung from this other hotel, and headed towards our DESTINATION: Koh Kreb (sp???). It’s this island that supposedly is occupied by people descending from Myanmar—need to google/wikipedia more on that according to Pee-oii :).
I sort of forgot the exact chronological order of my day. But, I remember walking through the alleyways of Koh Kreb. We had lunch/brunch at this restaurant (Pee-ann, Pee-oii, Pee-nung, Pee-top, Kyle and I); they served noodles—semi-“pit” (spicy), but it tasted really good. Then we continued shopping/sightseeing through the alleyways.
Can I just make a note that I have not seen at least 30 minutes worth of television since I’ve been in Bangkok—soooo proud of myself.
We then caught a 11am boat/ferry/public transportation of the river :) —tre fantastic. We took the boat to tour around the island. We stopped at 3 stops (? Or was it 2?) I HAVE PHOTOS TO PROVE!! And, yet again, I am not in my complete sober state—sorry :/. We first visited a… dessert shop—I think it was quite famous along the river bank I assume. I bought just one package of nut filled candied (?); really quite hard to describe. The customer before me bought at least like 6 items before paying —I didn’t feel QUITE bad.
Our next stop was at another dessert floating area. We watched a dessert Pee-ann loves being made behind the whole ‘restaurant/store.’ (Pictures :) ). I then ordered this “rice and water” ‘dessert/treat.’ It was supposedly only for the royal monarchy—but it’s now available to everyone. Honestly, it wasn’t that ‘aroi;’ I however really liked the water/rice. The water/rice tasted like roses—very fragrant, I loved it so much.
We hopped back on the ferry to head to a stop…I honestly don’t recall/remember where the hell we went. I think we stopped at the island, and again went through several alleyways. I bought this boat thing that will run in water once you lit candles (yet again, hard to explain -____-). Oh gosh, my chronological events have turned into mish-mash. Bah, I’m sorry. I’ll have fb photos soon enough :). I had Cha-nom-yan (my favorite drink so far :) ) outside this temple. Hard to explain yet again.
We arrive back to our original destination where Pee-oii parked her car. While upon arriving back onto the mainland, Pee-nung, Kyle, and Pee-top were so cute!! They headed to this toy shop and bought this…thing haha. Various animals moving this way and that (pictures to prove); they looked like little kids again—Pee-ann and Pee-oii joined in on the fun, and I tried to capture the moment.
We then headed to the Grand Palace!! Kyle fell asleep half the way—I kept looking at my past pictures of Sukhothai. Let me reiterate: I miss Sukhothai, but I’m really glad to be in Bangkok at the same time. We took a lot of photos there. The crowned prince of Thailand was supposedly supposed to arrive at the Grand Palace today. There are several segments of this ‘park’ that are reserved for people who want to see this royal highness. It would honestly be an awesome experience, but it was lawn mak mak x100 today—and remember? I have sunburn/tan/je ne sais pas. Did I mention I wore a sarong for the first time today? Made me extremely happy—I was wearing my short shorts provided by Cassandra Etter!!! Or more like American Eagle, but whatever. The line I waited for my sarong all enclosed these foreign people (mostly Europeans)—I laughed at the fact at how I really was a foreigner in this kind country (Pictures for you guys to see soon!!!)
The main attraction of this Grand Palace I think would be the Emerald Buddha—please wikipedia this or google this for more information because I honestly don’t know the whole story.
CAN I TELL YOU WHAT THE FUCK. FOREINGERS HAVE TO PAY 350 BAHT JUST TO ENTER THE GRAND PALACE WHEREAS THAI PEOPLE GET IN FREE—I actually totally understand. I just wanted to expose the idea of discrimination—I found it extremely funny. I wanted to pass as Thai just to see if the security guards will let me through, but ‘chang man tou’—I was a good girl :).
We then headed to this temple that is quite famous—shit, I really forgot the name of the temple. Kekeke, funny part is comng up. So, obviously, if you’re a foreinger here (or at least look like one), I guess the natives will somehow one way or another take advantage of you. I needed to borrow another sarong again because of my short shorts—Pee-oii and Pee-ann with their perfect Thai accent asked this vendor for a sarong. They took me and Kyle’s camera to prove that they were the so-called ‘Thai-toursits;’ me and Kyle just kept our mouth shut the whole time :). 150 baht down to 50 baht—all’s good :). We ALL climbed up this pagoda type architecture (I assume the main structure of the whole temple). It was mad scary, hard, and difficult to climb the stairs. The steps had to be at least knee-high—yes, really hard. We had fun while at it :). We finally made it to the last level, aka the heaven level. I was like: “If we die now, and accidentally fall down to the ground it’s okay, because we have already reached heaven.” The view from there was gorgeous. You can pretty much see all the skyscrapers of Bangkok—pictures pictures!! My camera battery died on me again—fuck :(. So sorry. And, still not sober—god, this Sang-som is really strong, or I’m just really not alcohol tolerant anymore which is sad :(.
Today, and tomorrow (I think) 26-27th is a really quite famous (I suppose) holiday. People/Buddhists aren’t supposed to drink alcohol during these two days—that rule was totally broken -____-. Anyways, since it’s a Buddhist holiday, one is supposed to walk around this temple/architecture 3 times around and pray while at it. One is supposed to have a lotus flower, 3 incense sticks, and 1 candle—I don’t know what symbolism it describes—SORRY!! I’ll ask about it someday quite soon. Me, Kyle, Pee-oii, Pee-top, and Pee-nung only did one round because ti started raining. Pee-ann went the whole three ways :).
We then headed to this covered shed. SOOOO, apparently each Buddhist ought to know what day they were born on (Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.); I honestly had no idea. So, I’m born on a Monday—woo (?) :). Each day is represented by a different Buddha. I was praying towards my Buddha, with a small donation of around 6-7baht. I was so embarrassed; I forgot to take off my shoes while doing this ritual—in my head, I was like “shit… my wish won’t come true anymore :(“.
While on the subject of my candle being lit along with the other items I held in my hand, wax dropped on my fake converses—it’s cool. 1. I’ll remember where this mess came from.
After the visitation of this famous temple, we headed to dinner at this Navy restaurant (Pee-top was a former (current ?) Navy seal—nice nice? Yeah, yeah!!). I really fucked up my order—sorry -_____-; I’ll revise this post in a while when I get my photos straightened out.
Everyone had a great time at dinner. We originally ate outside on the patio; but the rain came and we headed inside to eat. The restaurant carried really good food—we ordered a lot of seafood—I think that’s what Bangkok is famous for anyways. I felt bad that I didn’t get a chance to bill anything -____-; but no worries, I’ll repay Pee-oii, and Pee-ann (and now Pee-top) back. Oh geez; so after our dinner, Pee-oii asked if we wanted to get dessert. Instead, the liquor category came up. I ordered Sang-som. Bad choice? Eh, it was fun :). Me and Pee-ann toasted each other first. Then, me and Pee-nung had our face-off and finished the whole damn bottle. The taste of Sang-som smelled like vodka, but goes down a LOT smoother than Absolut or Johnnie Walker—the smell was honestly unbearable though :(. Ahh—Pee-nung is so cute. I kept asking him okay mai? And…he can obviously take a lot more alcohol than I can—embarrasing. I remember the days when I could take 5 shots of 40% Absolut, and just be tipys—WHERE DID THOSE DAYS GO? Oh, yeah, when I was bulimic that one time -_____-.
Pee-oii asked us (Pee-top stayed in the restaurant to guard our purses) whether we wanted to see the temples during a night view. It was very gorgeous. I totally mixed up two temples—and felt like an idiot—a drunk idiot at that. I wasn’t drunk, I think—I at least remember this part.
10.06pm: Home-Michael Buble. I do miss Taiwan, but I still love Bangkok.
We all headed home afterwards; and it would be the last time I saw Pee-nung, until obviously next year when I go visit Sukhothai again :).
10.07pm: Chilling in my bed, going to finally watch some T.V. I can understand, and getting up at 6am to head to the beach! WOO-HOO!
BANGFUGGINGKOK!!! DAY ONE.
1.13am: WE ARRIVE IN BANGFUCKINGKOK BABY!!! Pee-see took me and Kyle to our hotel (Bangkok City Suite, Petchuburi Road, Soi 1), and thank god her company compensates her taxi fee. Me and Kyle said our farewells to her, and we were all free.
LET ME JUST SAY, yes, I am/was super excited that I have landed in Bangkok, but I really do miss Sukhothai—the people, the lifestyle, the easiness. It was heart wrenching/I was torn when I got on the airplane. I was soooo excited to be in Bangkok, but at the same time, I realized so many people really liked me and Kyle, and they couldn’t seem to let go (okay, yeah, they still let go).
So, we arrive in our room, with TWO TWIN BEDS. Funny story, the counter lady was like “One bed right?” “NO NO NO NO. TWO BEDS TWO!!” Okay, anyways, back to my night/story/summary. SOMEONE has been looking up gay districts—I wonder who. And, so I really wanted to go see a gay club anyways (I didn’t know I’d end up in a stripping one). We unpacked for thirty minutes, changed in less than 10 seconds, and headed out the door—yes, we were fucking excited.
We got into the first taxi we see—big mistake. But, whatever, the price really wasn’t that bad compared to fares in other cities. We asked to go to the nearest BTS (semi-subway system (?) sky train, etc), and for 40 baht; the driver asked where we were going (this whole time, his taxi meter wasn’t on -_____-), and we said Silom (is that even how you spell it?). He said, okay, I’ll get you guys there for only 100baht; whatever, it’s only… approx $3US, dude, I’ll take it. We asked him to take us to nightclubs (we wanted to say gay clubs…but…); he handed me a business card that has several items listed. OH YEAH, whatever you do, please do NOT go for “ping pong” it’s not ping pong—it is something pretty obscene, and… just no.
List: 1. Pussy ping pong. 2. Pussy smoking cigarette. 3. Lesbian love sex. 4. Making love man and woman
I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF. “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?!?! WHY ARE YOU SHOWING ME THIS?” “Do you want to go?” “I’M GAY. I WANT TO SEE GUYS.” “I WANT TO SEE GUYS TOO!” So, we head out of the taxi, and first ended up at this night market place: oh, yeah, here’s where the semi-‘fun’ comes into play.
As we walk through, and see all these other foreigners (which made me extremely happy for some reason), I see stands full of fake brands (Louis Vuitton, Coach, Gucci, etc); I was in heaven. I asked for a Coach bag that was 2,500 baht—eh, I’ll see if I want it in the future. We kept walking through the night market, which pretty much sold, Ralph Lauren shirts (MY FAVORITE OXFORD!!!), Rolex watches, handbags, Thai T-shirts, little toys for kids, etc. You know what I mean my asian homies :). As we were walking through the streets, there were random guys who came up to Kyle, and kept showing that list (mentioned above, with semi-variations to various themes). They were very fucking persistent. It was irritating, but entertaining at the same time, because Kyle couldn’t say he was gay the whole time. AND, I guess we really didn’t look like boyfriend/girlfriend haha. OOPS, my ‘b’ on my part.
We kept walking in the district TRYING SO HARD to find a gay club (Jupiter, and Dreamboy to be exact). We ended up looking at a bunch of “pussy” bars—god, Thai people love selling meat -_____-; jeez, and I thought this was a Buddhist country :). TOTALLY KIDDING; I’m being a total bitch right now, but I think I’m just criticizing this district in general; I’m sure the other areas aren’t like this.
We kept getting dragged into various clubs (strip clubs), and bars.
People (annoying motherfucking people) on the streets would ‘offer help’ randomly and expect some compensation. Yeah, fuck off. -_____-, jeez, I wish I had a Thai friend during those moments. But, me and Kyle survived :).
We finally found JUPITER!!!!!!!!! Hahahaha, we were both really really hesitant in going in, but I think it was totally worth it. ELISABETH GODWIN: IF YOU ARE FUCKING READING THIS. THAILAND/BANGKOK IS THE FUCKING PLACE FOR YOU X1000000. Okay, so we’re greeted by these cute gay guys ushering us in. It was a tiered bar type place with leopard printed bar stools, and leather printed bar stools, all facing the stage. It could seat at least 200 people—it was nice. It was 250 baht for an entry fee with one free drink. Was it worth the money? Um, yes. I had a glass of vodka—AND THAT WAS IT. THAT WAS IT, OKAY?! Okay, glad we got that established.
These Jupiter boys, as they are called, come onto the stage wearing a white tank, and tight tight (like…tight) red undies. With a little number button pinned on the panties—you got it; if you order a number, you can have ‘service’ (I don’t know what kind—and, I don’t really want to exactly know) for a price—they tab the number onto your bill if you choose to do so. OH GOD, THEY WERE HOT—not your ordinary…strippers (okay, well, I’ve never been to a strip club, so… maybe they aren’t hot. But I have high standards for my strippers, and they have reached it!!).
I sat next to a group of working people (they were in their 20s I assumed, and I was curious because there was at least 3 girls and 1 guy in that group). The chick next to me was a lesbian—I’m cool; and the guy was gay, and the lesbian came for him—good girl. Then they left the most amazing part of the night:
The performances they had at Jupiter included performances from Lady-boys (or… transvestites is the correct term for you politically correct people—eff that). The Lady-boys were gorgeous—I wanted to kill them so bad. They had wonderful dances/they had really nice and classy songs ranging from the 50s-00s. The ‘epitome’ of the performances were… “the towel stripping performance;” yes, penises were involved, and I didn’t cringe like I did Chatroulette x100. OH YEAH, THIS IS LIKE CHATROULETTE… EXCEPT X100 BETTER!!! Um, they also had this performance that involved “the death reaper becoming naked somehow.” There was another performance that was “let’s have a random makeout session in the shower to really techno music.” There were at least… 10 different penises tonight. Wow, I’m talking about penises like I’m very indifferent about it—because I sort of am at this point.
The “mama” of the house (a gay man—sorry if you were expecting a woman :)) treated me very kindly. It was sweet. Random gay guys (waiters/workers mostly) would walk by and smile so sweetly/cutely. Towards the end of the night… 11.30pm-ish, people were leaving. So, me and Kyle moved a couple of bar stools up front. Gay guys (and I think straight guys in a gay club) are very touchy feely. I asked “mama” who was straight and who was gay, and he said 50-50. 1. A gay waiter locked eyes with me, smiled, and pointed to a direction for me to look at. I was confused. One Jupiter boy walks by, stares at me for the longest time, like I was suppose to put his number on my tab. YEAH, he was definitely straight. 2. A Jupiter boy walks by (sooo cute), touches my thigh, smiles, and keeps staring, like…again, I was suppose to tab him tonight. God, if I wasn’t a virgin, and had like 10012938247 condoms with me, I would totally tab them down, but they must be really expensive.
I have another post I would like to dissect the happenings of these random clubs, and how straight men would have to resort to gay actions—I just… it makes me kind of sad. I also saw several young strippers—or I think they’re really young. They look like my age—WHAT THE FUCK. I felt bad…but they looked damn good.
Me and Kyle headed out of the club, we had to walk through the gay boulevard.
1.52am: sorry, had to brush my teeth—thought you guys should know :).
As we walked through gay boulevard, random people started tugging me and Kyle into these gay strip clubs. Oh, god, not that I don’t like these stripping men, but it has been too much for the night—and I was tired. I don’t know whether Kyle got harassed as much as I did, but I got felt up all over—I was totally fine with it, because 1. I assumed all these guys were gay, 2. they were fine about it, 3. they didn’t really feel me up down there or up there, and I honestly didn’t care at that point. I got kissed on the cheek, on the hand, got hugged from behind, got my butt squeezed—the typical happenings in a club anyways, lol, just in the setting of a public street. Me and Kyle headed to another strip club for a minute, because… I was sick and tired of saying no, and hey, I’m out here on gay boulevard, and it may be my last time. I saw a really hot guy as I entered the club, NUMBER 54 PLEASE. And then we really left for a minute. Harassing continues. We were followed by this guy who introduced us to “X-cise” (no. 54’s place); we headed to Family Mart. He expected me to buy him 59baht Heineken. Oh, bitch, please. I’ll pay 100baht for a cabfare, but I only drank a glass of Vodka; you think I would pay for YOU to drink? Dream on, bitch. I ditched that bitch real easy (I’m…not trying to sound black…or bitchy, it just be reality, yo).
We took a taxi, persisting for taxi-meter, then I was like whatever, and bargained for 110baht back to our hotel. It was more expensive, which I wasn’t happy about, but, he got lost—gas money is on him; he deserved it? Yes, I think so :).
And now, I’m in my room/bed chilling listening to "Billionaire"-Travie Mccoy. Yes, being a billionaire in Bangkok is banking.
Meeting Pee-oii and Pee-ann in the wee hours of the morning (in 6 hours to be precise, 8am)
Did I mention Pee-ann called during the strip club, oh god, I felt like a bad kid like my parents found out that… I was out on a Monday night or something, lol. She was like “I’m worried about you guys! I can hear you guys are clubbing!! Let’s go clubbing tomorrow night!” Haha, she’s so cute, and motherly, I love her.
Sukhothai LAST DAY!!
So, I know I haven’t updated my tumblr in the past few days. It’s been too busy. Let me start off with the day I didn’t feel like updating on. Me and my parents went to Sukhothai Old City, Si Satchanalai (sp?), a local market :) [special request by me], and we ate lunch at the same restaurant Pee-oii took us (the dancing kids one). I was really glad to have seen them, but when they departed yesterday [or techinically two days ago], I still felt at ease. I missed them a tinge, but life went back to normal. I still had a normal day in the office, chilling, doing random things.
Today, or… was it yesterday? I don’t care, 1 hour ago: Today was just pretty much epic. In the morning, I woke up around 7am, to do some last minute packing (I hope I didn’t leave anything behind—but if I did, I really don’t mind going back to Sukhothai). After my packing, I took my camera around and shot pictures of the airport that I haven’t had a chance to do (yes, I know 25 days in Sukhothai, and haven’t taken a picture of the buildings/architecture/objects of the airport). I took pictures of the orchid farms, cassawary (google it :) ), chicken (there’s a ton), water buffalos (and cows I think), the organic farm, the Buddhist shrines, etc, etc, etc. x100. Afterwards, I head to the office (Director’s office) to say bye/hi to Ms. Chutima and Bo. Ms. Chutima left the early morning flight, and I really never got to say goodbye for she was on the phone when I was in the office. Afterwards, I headed towards the operation office, and chilled (MY LAST DAY CHILLING IN THE OFFICE, ON THE INTERNET, DOING BORING TASKS!!!). We all headed to me, and Kyle’s last lunch. SAW PEE-NAAM-PUNG!!! He arrived yesterday from Bangkok. After lunch, got our luggage with Pee-see. After that (haha, I’m not being very precise am I), me and Kyle took pictures with Pee-naan, and Pee-waan. We then headed towards the catering kitchen, because… that really hit ‘home’ (or Sukhothai home). Pee-may was sleeping on the floor, so me and Kyle took turns taking pictures with her. Took pictures with Pee-doi, and Pee-ba. Pee-ba was teary, and sad—bahhhh :(.
We head to the office again to chill, and to wait until our departure/boarding time.
Pee-ba came around 4.30pm (our flight boards at 4.55pm); she handed me and Kyle a bag each—IT WAS STUFFED WITH KAO PAD LAP CHANG (fried rice and sausages), AND COOKIES (FRESHLY BAKED)!!!!!!!!! Oh god, I really going to tear up so bad. We checked in with Pee-see and said our last goodbye to Pee-naan (too bad me and Kyle didn’t see Pee-dick one last time ;) ).
Got on the plane, took pictures with Pee-see, and finally ate the hamburger made by the catering kitchen—shit tasted mad good :). And then, I finished my fried rice as well.